Thursday, 28 February 2013

The Jane Eyre Challenge - Part 20

And so ends February, but so starts a new stage in Grape Jane's life.

Wednesday, 27 February 2013

The Jane Eyre Challenge - Part 19

I currently have one of those headaches that makes my eyes feel like they are going to puke.  Just looking at this screen is revolting my senses.  But as always the grapes are RARING to go.  So you know the drill, Jane Eyre, abridgement, adaptation, grapes, click below.  I'm off to curl up in the dark.  See you tomorrow.


Tuesday, 26 February 2013

The Jane Eyre Challenge - Part 18

And now, the grapes present 'Part 18' of their abridged adaptation of Jane Eyre for your looking pleasure.  It follows on nicely from yesterday's bit, so if you haven't seen that, please check it out here first.

And now, please click/look below:


Monday, 25 February 2013

The Jane Eyre Challenge - Part 17

Ah hello, welcome back. 

Hmm, I just typed 'ah, hell' instead of 'ah, hello'.  Methinks I might be a bit tired.  So let's just get on with the grapes.  Click (or look) below.


Sunday, 24 February 2013

The Jane Eyre Challenge - Part 16

So the grapes have reached the end of the second section of Charlotte Brontë's Jane Eyre.  They are on the home stretch.  How far are you?

Well?

The Housemate has finished reading Jane Eyre.  Overall, he enjoyed it.

Well done, grapes.  You inspired a person to read.

However, just because they've lost the race (which I always hoped they would) they're not going to stop abridging and adapting the novel. 

Although to anyone who is very naughtily reading the grapes and NOT reading Charlotte Brontë's wonderful book, I say: Do not trust the grapes.  They are totally skimming over important bits, cutting characters and have little understanding of subtext.  In some cases.  In others, they're all with the subtext.  Did you see what they did to Grape Helen?  She's one of the most important characters in the novel and they just swept her aside with a cough.  Because it was funnier that way.  Bad, bad grapes. I guess what I'm trying to say is, as I've mentioned before, if you've not read the novel yet, READ THE NOVEL READ IT READ IT DO IT NOW.

And now, on with the grapes.  As usual, please click below, or look below, depending how you are viewing this post.  Thank you.

Saturday, 23 February 2013

The Jane Eyre Challenge - Part 15

Pretty much everything I said yesterday goes for today:

Friday, 22 February 2013

The Jane Eyre Challenge - Part 14

Today the grapes are getting REALLY REALLY spoilery.  REALLY REALLY REALLY.  Sort of.  Charlotte Brontë's Jane Eyre is so incredibly famous that we all know this next bit and tomorrow's bit too (probably).  But the grapes are excited.  And that Grape cameos again!  Get your gasps at the ready.




Well maybe not THAT ready...

So if you're all set, click (or look, depending) below.

Thursday, 21 February 2013

The Jane Eyre Challenge - Part 13

So my closest friends are both sick at the moment.  Now I know who to blame if I get sick too.

Er, I mean, I sure hope they feel better soon xxxxxx

Anyway, let's quickly get on with 'Grape Eyre' as The Slayer calls it.

Click below for the next part (or just look below, depending how you're viewing this post):



Wednesday, 20 February 2013

The Jane Eyre Challenge - Part 12

The grapes have reached the point in Charlotte Brontë's wonderful Jane Eyre where things get REALLY spoilery, rather than just quite spoilery.  So if you are currently behind the grapes in reading Jane Eyre, READ THE BOOK NOW READ IT QUICKLY.  That IS the point of all this, after all.

Right, today's bit follows on immediately from yesterday's, so if you've forgotten it or can't scroll down to read it or click it in the sidebar, then here's the link.

Okay, so if you're ready for the next bit, click below.  Unless you're looking at the specific post page rather than the whole blog, in which case just look below because it's right there...

Tuesday, 19 February 2013

The Jane Eyre Challenge - Part 11

Today I met up with The Slayer which makes today a good day.  And we went to an antique bookshop, which was cool.  For geeky reasons...

Anyway, here's the next bit of Grape Jane Eyre:


Grape Jane visits her dying aunt.

Monday, 18 February 2013

The Jane Eyre Challenge - Part 10

So The Housemate is still ahead of the grapes (just) but does mutter curses at them for their speed in abridging and adapting Jane Eyre.  I only hope they're inspiring the rest of you too to read the wonderful novel.

Part 10 is a special part, and not just because '10' is allegedly my lucky number according to a Bisto (yes, the gravy) poster I have from The Childhood.

No, Part 10 is special because not only does it depict what is probably the most dramatic scene in Charlotte Brontë's Jane Eyre, but it GUEST STARS that Grape him(it?)self!

(Caution: Some scenes may not be suitable for baby grapes.)


Grape Mason arrives and something nasty happens during the night.

Sunday, 17 February 2013

The Jane Eyre Challenge - Part 9

Today I went into one of the few shops that was open in town (a charity shop) and for want of anything else to do, rummaged through a pile of books.

And discovered The Church Mice At Christmas by Graham Oakley, which is one of my all time favourite books.  I already own it, but since it was here, I thought perhaps, maybe, just possibly there would be another from the series under all those books on this big long table.  So I went through every single book.  I must have moved two hundred books.

AND I FOUND ONE!

I found The Church Cat Abroad by Graham Oakley, the second in the series.  A Church Mice book I haven't read.  I could have hugged the person next to me, if they hadn't been a seedy old man in an overcoat.

That brings my collection up to SIX, which means I only have to find... however many are left (six, according to wikipedia).  Check out Graham Oakley's site here (EDIT: That doesn't seem to work any more).

Big cheesy beams all round.

And now on with the grapes.

Grape Jane gets some bad news.

Saturday, 16 February 2013

The Jane Eyre Challenge - Part 8

I'm a bit run down today.

Perhaps the grapes can cheer me up, because they have reached not only one of my favourite scenes in Jane Eyre, but one of my favourite scenes in all literature ever...

Grape Jane saves Grape Rochester's life.
This brings the grapes to the end of the first section of Charlotte Brontë's Jane Eyre.  How far have you got?




It is a very good bit, isn't it?  The whole sequence.  The eerie creepy stuff when Jane can hear something or someone outside her room, and the drama of FIRE and then the intimate moments following...  It's just great stuff.

I do feel better.

Friday, 15 February 2013

The Jane Eyre Challenge - Part 7

The Housemate is continuing with Jane Eyre and still greatly enjoying it, and (even better) actually highlighting particularly good sections, which often happen to be bits I always consider very good, so I continue to be hugely gratified by this whole endeavour.

However, having chatted to a few people about Grape Jane Eyre, it seems that the point has been lost somewhere along the way, so I will now reiterate it:

The point of the Jane Eyre Challenge is...  if you haven't read the book Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë, that the grapes inspire you to read Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë faster than they can abridge and adapt it here each day on my blog.

So if you're following the grapes, and you haven't read the real book, then READ THE BOOK.

It's easy to get hold of.  There may even be a copy of it already in your house (there are at least two in mine).  You almost certainly know someone who can lend you a copy.  Pop into your nearest library.  Or even buy one.  It's stocked in all good bookshops and plentifully available online.

You'll probably enjoy it.  It's really good.

So on we go.

Today's segment is an omnibus, as the grapes summarise Grape Jane getting to know (and like) Grape Rochester, because I... I mean they... couldn't decide which bits to adapt.

Grape Rochester stays a while at Thornfield.  For some reason.


Grape Jane notices Grape Rochester's moodiness.


Grape Rochester tells Grape Jane about his past.

Tune in tomorrow for my favourite scene!

Thursday, 14 February 2013

The Jane Eyre Challenge - Part 6

Since it is (St) Valentine's Day, it's rather apt that today's segment of Grape Jane Eyre should be the moment that two of the greatest characters in romantic fiction meet:


Grape Jane meets Grape Rochester.
Ah, wasn't that romantic?

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Wednesday, 13 February 2013

The Jane Eyre Challenge - Part 5

This morning I burnt my hand on a piece of toast.  I didn't even know that was possible.  Anyway...

The Grapes thoroughly inspired The Housemate to get on and read the book and he is enjoying it.  I never knew I could be so gratified by someone liking a book I like.

Part 5 of grape Jane Eyre:

Grape Jane gets a job at Thornfield.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Tuesday, 12 February 2013

The Jane Eyre Challenge - Part 4

Happy Shrove Tuesday / Pancake Day!

I've eaten seven or eight vegan pancakes so far, covered in a variety of sugars and jam and some with cinnamon and peanut butter and chocolate chips mixed into the batter.

But that was lunchtime.

I'm hungry again now.

...

The Housemate is storming ahead with Jane Eyre.  And he's enjoying it.

I'm not sure the grapes will ever catch up, but then that was the idea.

Here is Part 4 of Jane Eyre played by grapes:

Grape Jane grows up.

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

Monday, 11 February 2013

The Jane Eyre Challenge - Part 3

A year and a quarter ago, while suffering from an unwelcome, uninvited, irrational melancholy whose appearance I blame on my rather shoddy genes…

You may be able to tell from this drawing that I am not a scientist.

…I happened to be reading The Life Of Charlotte Brontë by Elizabeth Gaskell and I made the mistake of identifying rather a bit with the heroine.  It is not recommended when melancholy to identify with a historical figure who was incredibly melancholy.

‘If I complain in this letter, have mercy and don’t blame me, for, I forewarn you, I am in low spirits, and that earth and heaven are dreary and empty to me at this moment.  In a few days our vacation will begin; everybody is joyous and animated at the prospect, because everybody is to go home.  I know that I am to stay here during the five weeks that the holidays last, and that I shall be much alone during that time, and consequently get downcast, and find both days and nights of a weary length.’
~ Charlotte Brontë’s description of the summer holiday, 1843, as quoted by Elizabeth Gaskell in The Life Of Charlotte Brontë.

Back then I picked out that quote so I could use it to describe how I felt each Christmas, but luckily before I found a convenient time to use it, I kicked the melancholy.

But I think it leads nicely on to...

Part 3 of Grape Jane Eyre.  The Housemate is now equal with the grapes, though he has this evening retired to his room to read, perhaps to gain some ground.


Grape Jane meets Grape Helen.

I generally rate the quality of a Jane Eyre adaptation (I've seen four now) by how they handle the character of Helen and her influence on Jane.  Most of them are as quick to dismiss her as the Grapes are, and therefore suck.  You hear that, Grapes?  You suck!

Below is my thesis on Jane Eyre and is therefore filled with even more spoilers than usual:

My interpretation of the novel is that Jane is a fiery person and reprimanded for being herself.  She meets Helen, a child also unfairly persecuted, but who unlike Jane faces her setbacks with a saintly disposition.  When Helen dies young and accepts her fate peacefully, Jane, who instead gets to wake up with a corpse, spends the rest of her life trying to repent and become Helen.  Mr Rochester, a similarly fiery character to Jane, sees and loves the real Jane but refuses to be saintly or repentant, and is punished.  While St John, a saintly Helen-like character, dismisses the real Jane and appeals to her saintly-aspirations, but ultimately she cannot bear to be repressed any longer.  Being yourself is more important, but you can still learn not to be completely self-serving.

So my point is that the Helen-Jane relationship of the first act is mirrored with the St John-Jane relationship of the final act, which are there to emphasise the importance of both love and redemption in the story of Jane and Rochester, so if you skimp on the Helen stuff, you totally undermine the entire structure and thematic point of the story.

Hear that, Grapes?  You suck!


Sunday, 10 February 2013

The Jane Eyre Challenge - Part 2

I've been busy today playing something called 'Munchkin Apocalypse' which we ended up playing for about three hours because we misread the (extensive) instructions.

But there's still time for Part 2 of Grape Jane Eyre.  So far, The Housemate is ahead of the grapes, but only just.  (If you're wondering what the hell I'm talking about, see here.)

So here's the next instalment:

Grape Jane starts at Lowood school.

Saturday, 9 February 2013

The Jane Eyre Challenge - Part 1

For The Birthday last year, The Slayer bought me, among other things, the latest film of Jane Eyre.  I have yet to watch it because I generally only watch films if The Housemate is around (if I watch films without him, he gets all…


…about it).

But I’m waiting for him to read the damned book first because last time we started watching an adaptation of Jane Eyre, he said it was putting him off reading it.

But no matter how often I have politely asked him to read the book or left it conveniently in front of him, he still hasn’t opened it.


So, with the aid of a skilled abridger…


He’s back!


…I’m going to draw all of Jane Eyre over The Next Few Posts so that The Housemate is motivated to read the actual book faster than I can spoiler the hell out of it.  Therefore, this challenge goes out to anyone reading this blog who hasn’t read Jane Eyre yet.  READ THE BOOK ALREADY.

Here is ‘Part 1’ of Charlotte Brontë’s Jane Eyre…

if all the characters were grapes.

Grape Jane’s Childhood.

Friday, 8 February 2013

The 100th Post

This is The 100th post!

And therefore I'm going to be utterly anti-climatic and do nothing with it.

I have however, completely updated The One Sentence Film Reviews, for your reading pleasure.  Be sure to use it to guide you when deciding whether to watch a film or not.

Oh, and here's a picture I drew for The Blog but never actually used:


I dunno what it's about...

Wasn't this an EXCITING 100th post?

Friday, 1 February 2013

Why I Don’t Have A Boyfriend, Reason #108




This might be slightly exaggerated from the original conversation.  Possibly.


(2019 EDIT: the real reason I don't have a boyfriend is because I don't want one/am asexual.  Still not sure who I would pick out of Kirk or Janeway though)