Monday, 11 August 2014

Musical Monday #73

Doing repetitive tasks at work isn’t something I dislike because it allows The Mind to focus on other things.  ‘Other things’ being making up stories.  The trouble is saying repetitive phrases.  Because speaking involves actually using The Brain instead of leaving it in neutral and sometimes when I have to say The Same Words over and over and over and over and over again The Mind decides to just say something insane instead. So far, instead of saying ‘receipt’ I have said

because I was thinking about The WWII Research.  Not too bad, because it starts the same.  I can forgive The Brain that one. But then today instead of ‘receipt’ I said

 because that was how many minutes of The Shift I had left.  How could The Brain possibly confuse those two words? More worrying, instead of ‘and there’s your receipt’ I have managed to say

 More than once.  Either The Mind just decides to reset and start the repetitive conversation I have with every customer again, despite the fact that we are at the end of the transaction not the beginning, or it is pre-empting the next customer too soon.  Either way, saying ‘hello’ at the end of the conversation makes me look CRAZY. And finally, the first and creepiest thing I have ever managed to say instead of ‘receipt’ was

because I stare at a lot of people’s hands every day while they slowly fish out coins and loyalty cards from overstuffed wallets and I was wondering why so many people have liver spots and what liver spots actually are and instead of saying ‘and there’s your receipt’ I said ‘and there’s your skin’.  I can only hope the customer assumed they had misheard me and didn’t fear for their lives at The Clearly A Serial Killer Dialogue I was coming out with. And now a Musical Number from one of the most terrifying films ever made.

The Unbirthday Song from Alice In Wonderland
What's the weirdest thing or worst Freudian slip you've said?


  1. "And there's your skin." Catchphrase!

    1. In what circumstance that would be a catchphrase I shudder to imagine.


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