Friday, 27 April 2012

Before I Could Write - Part 3

Yes, here it is, the third instalment of rubbish I wrote when I was a child.  There is still no sign of any actual talent.

I wrote this story when I was about eight.


Self Portrait (going down a water slide)



My name is Bobby and this is a story I shall never forget.  One day when I was sitting on the shop shelf some people came into the shop.  I thought they wouldn’t buy me because the shop owners were going to chuck the toys out but the people bought me.  They put me in a plastic bag but the top of the bag was open so I didn’t suffocate.  When they got home they wrapped me up and then the lady put me in her cupboard.  In the morning they put a card on the wrapping paper and gave me to a little girl.  The little girl ripped the wrapping paper off and said what have you given me this for.  It’s a piece of rubbish.  But dear I thought you would like it.  Well I don’t said the little girl and she grabbed me and chucked me in her toy box.  Suddenly two horses jumped on top of me they were skipping rope handles they jumped and jumped and jumped until I was half way down the box.  When morning started I tried to climb to the top but things kept pushing me down.  By night I was at the bottom of the box.  It seemed too comfortable to be the bottom of the box that’s when I realised I was lying on a sleeping bag one just the size for me then a bear said to me get off my sleeping bag Bobby.  I said how do you know my name.  Because I am Letterbox Bear.  What I said.  Let’s go.  So we packed up and climbed out.  When we got out we climbed up on the bed there were thousands of toys then we turned to the side with the pillow on and we saw 3 toys in one corner and 3 toys in the other corner and on the pillow there was 1 toy a dolphin called Doffy.  He said to us come over here so we went over to the dolphin and we soon made friends.  Then the little girl made all three of us her favourite toys.

...

So wasn't that nice.  What an incredibly fickle child.  (Although the narrator is clearly Bobby Badger, my favourite toy, this story is not autobiographical.  Although Toy Story clearly got some of its ideas from me, right?)

I also found several poems I wrote around the same time, but they were suspiciously good and having googled them I've discovered the reason for that is because I did not write them.  Stupid teaching tools.

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